[I am indebted to Mr. Ring W. Lardner, author of "You Know Me, Al," for the following. It combines the common language with the special argot of the professional baseball-players, a class of men whose speech Mr. Lardner has studied with great diligence.]
[Plot: The enemy has fallen on our pitcher and scored five runs. The side is finally retired and our men come in to the bench, where the manager awaits them.]
MANAGER—What the hell! [1]
PITCHER (indicating the catcher)—Ask him!
CATCHER—Ask yourself, you yella bum! (To the manager) Hes been shakin me off all day.
MANAGER—What was it Peck hit?
PITCHER—I was tryin to waste it.
CATCHER—Waste it! You dinked it up there chest high. [2] He couldnt of got a better cut at it if hed of tooken the ball in his hand.
PITCHER (to the catcher)—You could of got Shawkey at the plate if youd of left Jacks peg hop. He never even hit the dirt.
CATCHER—It would of been a short hop and I couldnt take no chance. You wasnt backin up. You was standin over in back of third base, posin for a pitcher (=picture) or somethin.
MANAGER (to the catcher)—What the hell happened on that ball on Bodie?
CATCHER—He (referring to the pitcher) crossed me up. I ast him for a hook and he yessed me and then throwed a fast one.
PITCHER—It was a curve ball, just like you ast me, only it didnt break good.
MANAGER (to the pitcher)—And what about Ruth? Is that all the more sense you got, groovin one for that big ape! Youd of did better to roll it up there.
PITCHER—The ball he hit was outside.
MANAGER—You mean after he hit it. For Gods sakes, use your head in there! This aint Fort Worth!
PITCHER—I wisht to hell it was!
MANAGER—And youre lible to get your wish!
Glossary
In there: In the pitchers position.
Up there: In the batters position.
Shakin me off: Refusing to pitch the kind of ball I signalled for.
Waste: To pitch a ball so high or so far outside that the batsman cannot reach it.
Dink: To throw a slow ball.
Hook: A curve ball.
Peg: A throw.
Hop: To bound.
Hit the dirt: To slide.