he would have inevitably believed in, had he not trusted the other one. He who believes in . . . etc., ceases to believe in reason. They even say straight out, one ought not to believe in reason.
3) . . .
A very interesting letter from Holland, about what a youth is to do who is called to military service, when he is the sole supporter of his mother.[1]
November 10. Y. P.
Slept with difficulty. Weakness both physical and intellectual and—for which I am at fault—also moral. Rode horseback. Posha[2] arrived. . . . A wonderful French pamphlet about war.[3] Yes, 20 years are needed for that thought to become a general one. My head aches and seems to crackle and rumble. Father, help me when I am most weak that I may not fall morally. It is possible.
Nov. 11. Y.P. If I live.
I write and think: it is possible that I won't be. Every day I make attempts, and I get more accustomed to it.
To-day November 75.
I have been so weak all the time I could write nothing except a few letters. A letter to Shkar-