live rent-free in someone's head

• live rent free in someone's head

Often attributed to American advice columnist Eppie Lederer (1918–2002), who used it in her syndicated advice column in 1990.

live rent-free in someone's head (third-person singular simple present lives rent-free in someone's head, present participle living rent-free in someone's head, simple past and past participle lived rent-free in someone's head)

1. (chiefly US, informal, idiomatic) To be the perpetual focus of someone's thoughts, with that person having no control over this situation.

   Synonym: live rent-free in someone's mind

   • 1990 March 8, Ann Landers [Eppie Lederer], “Breast cancer is in her family”, in Daily American, volume 62, number 210, Somerset, Pa., page 12:

     Gem of the Day: Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent free in your head.

   • 2010, Jennifer C. Hunt, Seven Shots: An NYPD Raid on a Terrorist Cell and Its Aftermath, page 32:

     The difficult bosses then get under their skin and live “rent-free” in their heads long after they've left work and gone home to sleep.

   • 2015, Joanne Bamberger, Love Her, Love Her Not: The Hillary Paradox:

     It may not seem that way, but this is a testament to Hillary's ability to successfully make such a mark on her opposition that she lives rent-free in their heads for decades.

• This phrase conveys a disparaging attitude toward the person whose head is mentioned.