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UNSONG

words and music by Tom Lehrer

(This song was written on spec in 1987 for a prospective TV series for the Disney Channel (never produced) intended to teach reading to children. Presumably, it would have been the soundtrack to an animated segment.)

[The characters: A is a nice guy, who wouldn't dream of making trouble for anyone. B is diabolical and loves to make trouble for people just for the fun of it. As we start, A is putting his wardrobe in order. During the first section A gradually becomes aware of what B is up to.]

A: I fold the shirt
B: I unfold the shirt
A: I lace the shoes
B: I unlace the shoes
A: I stack the clothes
B: And I unstack them
A: I pack the clothes

⁠B:

And I unpack them
It should be clear to anyone:
Anything you can do --- I can un.

A (spoken): Why, that's the most unheard of thing I ever heard of!
B (spoken): I think you're getting the idea.

A: I wrap the box
B: I unwrap the box
A: I tie the string
B: I untie the string
A: [trying to keep B away] I lock the door [between them]
B: And I unlock it
A: I block the door

⁠B:

And I unblock it
Undoing things is lots of fun --
Anything you can do --- I can un.

A: I button my shirt
B: I unbutton your shirt [it falls off]
A: I buckle my belt
B: I unbuckle your belt [pants fall down]
A: [getting angry] I dress again

⁠B:

Well, just to impress you
I undress you. [A's clothes fall off, down to underwear. A sneezes.]
Bless you!

A (spoken): Why, you unspeakable, unbelievable, unscrupulous, unmitigated....
B (spoken): ”Don't forget "unfair”!"

A: I comb my hair
B: I uncomb your hair [it's a mess]
A: I blow my nose [blows]
B: I unblow your nose [A inhales]

⁠A:

Oh, yukk!
I make the bed
B: And I unmake it

⁠A:

[trying to stop B, falls on bed -- it collapses] Oops! I break the bed
B: And I unbreak it

⁠A:

[surprised that B has actually done something helpful] Why, thank you!
B: You're unwelcome -- it was unintentional

⁠BOTH:

"Un" can undo whatever you've (I've) done
Anything you (I) can do, I (you) can un!

This work is in the public domain worldwide because it has been so released by the copyright holder.

 
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