"To Hopley Porter go,
 Your fare I will afford you—
Deal him a deadly blow
 And blessings shall reward you.

"But stay—I do not like
 Undue assassination,
And so before you strike,
 Make this communication:
 
"I'll give him this one chance—
 If he'll more gaily bear him,
Play croquêt, smoke, and dance,
 I willingly will spare him."

They went, those minions true.
 To Assesmilk-cum-Worter,
And told their errand to
 The Reverend Hopley Porter.