The Duke.⁠ SMALL titles and orders
⁠For Mayors and Recorders
I get—and they're highly delighted.
M.P.s baronetted,
Sham Colonels gazetted,
And second-rate Aldermen knighted.
Foundation-stone laying
I find very paying.
It adds a large sum to my makings.
At charity dinners
The best of speech-spinners,
I get ten per cent. on the takings!

The Duchess.⁠I present any lady
Whose conduct is shady
Or smacking of doubtful propriety;
When Virtue would quash her,
I take and whitewash her
And launch her in first-rate society.