N APOSTROPHE T (from "The Electric Company")
words and music by Tom Lehrer
SCENE: Outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit.
CAST: A hermit (H) and a very sweet child (C).
| C: | Isn't it a lovely day? |
| H: | No, it isn't! |
| C: | Could you come outside and play? |
| H: | No, I couldn't! |
| C: | Did you ever take a hike? |
| H: | No, I didn't! |
| C: | How'd you like to ride my bike? |
| H: | Frankly, I wouldn't! |
| C: | Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't -- Is that all you can say? |
| H: | Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't --- Yes, now go away! |
| C: | Have you ever tried to smile? |
| H: | No, I haven't! |
| C: | Won't you try it for a while? |
| H: | No, I won't! |
| C: | Are there games to play in there? |
| H: | No, there aren't! |
| C: | Then why d'you like to stay in there? |
| H: | Frankly, I don't! |
| C: | Haven't, won't, aren't, don't -- Is that all you can say? |
| H: | Haven't, won't, aren't, don't --- And I said "Go away!" |
| C: | Do you talk to anyone? |
| H: | (wistfully) No, I don't. |
| C: | Come on out and have some fun. |
| H: | (hesitantly) No, I couldn't. |
| C: | Can't you even tell me why? |
| H: | (apologetically) No, I can't. |
| C: | Will it kill you just to try? |
| H: | (wanting to) Well ...... I shouldn't. |
| C: | Don't, couldn't, can't, shouldn't -- Now try it once my way! Do! |
| H: | Do! |
| C: | Could! |
| H: | Could! |
| C: | Can! |
| H: | Can! |
| C: | Should! |
| H: | Should! Hey, that feels okay! |
| C: | So come along with me -- |
| H: | I'll give it a try |
| C: | N apostrophe -- |
| Both: | N apostrophe T! |
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