(1st student)
Oh, I once loved a sweet Physics student,
The loveliest girl one could find,
But I tried to get close and I cudent,
For she said that she wasn't "that kind."
⁠More often a king weds a commoner
⁠Than a physicist makes a housewife,
⁠For they only are versed in phenomener
⁠That have nothing to do with real life.

(Chorus)
⁠So don 't ever major in Physics,
⁠Try History, English , or Gov,
⁠For you may learn a lot about science,
⁠But you won 't learn a thing about love.

(2nd student)
Oh, I too loved a young Physics major,
She was pretty and healthy and pure,
But I wouldn't take one now on a wager,
For they all are like her, I am sure.
⁠She didn't like couches or hammocks
⁠Or walks in the moonlight for two.
⁠All she thought of was thermodynammocks,
⁠So what, tell me what, could I do?

(Chorus)

(3rd student)
Now I have the opposite status:
I like physics and my girl does not.
I tried showing her my apparatus,
But a blank smile was all that I got.
⁠She asked me why I was in Physics,
⁠And advised me to transfer to Ec,
⁠And whenever I tried to talk Physics,
⁠All she wanted to do was to neck! (ugh!)

(Chorus)