DODGING THE DRAFT AT HARVARD (1952)

words by Tom Lehrer

tune: "Oh How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning," by Irving Berlin


Oh, how I'd hate to go into the army,
Oh, how I'd rather remain at home.
That's why I am here today,
Working hard to get an A,
We're dodging the draft,
We're dodging the draft,
We're dodging the draft at Harvard.
Some day you may have to go to Korea.
Send us a souvenir if you can .
While you are out destroying life,
We'll be back home enjoying life.
It's great to be an essential man.

Some are too old to get into the army.
Some guys the army won 't even take.
But we happily confess
That the draft board says: 2S.
We're dodging the draft,
We're dodging the draft,
We're dodging the draft at Harvard.
Some day you may have to go to Korea.
You may be leaving before too long.
But our draft board, influential men,
Insists we're all essential men,
And who are we to say they're wrong?
Entangling alliances
With all the arts and sciences
Will keep us home where we belong.


In revised lyrics written for the 25th Harvard reunion in 1972 (probably not used) "I" replaced by "we"; "Korea" replaced by "Vi-et Nam" and one couplet replaced by "Gee, but it's great to be out of the Army/Thank God our parents have got the dough."

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